I’ve said before that my friend, Brandon, and I always make list when he goes on long trips to help pass the time. This was our list from last night on his way home from Arkansas:
Brandon: 10. Happy Gilmore/The Waterboy– Had to have one on my list, but no way does two Adam Sandler movies make it. I quote Waterboy more, but Happy knocks out Bob Barker and Apollo Creed gets eaten by an alligator, so take your pick.
Me: First of all, I’d like to preface my list by saying that I apparently haven’t seen many credible sports movies.. 10. Cool Runnings – Yeah, I know it’s not a good movie, but darned if I haven’t seen it about 100 times..
Brandon: You do love some Cool Runnings.. It’s cool dude, i just freaking started off with movies with lines like, ‘The price is WRONG, bitch!’ and ‘She showed me her boobies mamma, and i liked em too!’
Me::Thanks for trying to make me feel better now.. You will not be doing that at the end of my list.. Seriously..
Brandon: 9. Remember the Titans– Screw that Denzel guy, this movie has got Avon Barksdale and Randy!
Me: Haha! All sports movies are gonna have somebody from The Wire in them.. Black people are good at sports..
Brandon: Haha! Truth.. I think it might have Turk in it too..
Me: 9. The Mighty Ducks – It has Emelio Estevez in it and I loved me some Emeilo back then after Young Guns and Men at Work.. Plus one of the players was hot and he took his shirt off.. And you can’t beat a good quack chant during the climax of a movie..
Brandon: Haha i though of that one.. And i did love Emelio after Young Guns..
8. Rudy– Yeah, it’s a really inspiring movie, but Notre Dame can still suck my balls..
Me: Never seen Rudy.. That’s only the beginning of my shamefulness..
Brandon: What the sam hell?
Me: 8. Johnny Be Good – It’s awesome and you know it!
Brandon: Johnny Be Good was SO close to making my list! It’s hilarious, it has nostalgia factor, and Robert Downey Jr is freaking awesome in it..
7. Hoop Dreams– a documentary about two young black kids from the streets who are trying to make it to the NBA. It’s a deep, moving social commentary that’s incredibly well made. In other words, it wont be making your list.
Me: Correct.. Because I haven’t seen it.. Much like all other good sports related movies..
7. Karate Kid – The first and almost only legitimate classic sports related film on my list..
Brandon: Wait, does karate count?! I’ve never thought of martial arts movies as sports movies.. I can see it going either way.. We’ll count it for you, and ill just list my martial arts movies that woulda made it.. But since it counts for you, how the H did you find 6 better ones?!
Me: We’re not making BEST sports movies, we’re making FAVORITE sports movies.. Big difference! And just so you know, I counted anything competitive.. Like I would’ve counted Searching for Bobby Fisher or The Hustler as acceptable answers..
Brandon: Oh wow.. Ok.. And i know we’re going by favorites, which is why im amazed you have 6 better choices.. Wait, so would you count Spellbound?
Dont answer that! In case its on your list
Me: Haha! I had to use a wide definition of sports since I haven’t seen many sports movies..
Brandon: 6. Major League– if baseball was like this, i’d watch it all the time..
Me: Never saw it.. 😦 6. Sidekicks – Jonathan Brandis AND Chuck Norris.. H yeah!
Brandon: Haha your list would be at like 8% at rottentomatoes– all put together! And Major League is the one ridiculous crap but hilarious sports move you haven’t seen apparently..
Me: Yeah.. My list is admittedly awful.. This is going to be the most different our top 10 lists have ever been.. At the end, I think we might have 1 in common.. Maybe 2..
Brandon: It’s halftime, sports fans! Here are the classic sports flicks that were close but will not be making my list- Raging Bull, Hoosiers, Brian’s Song, Chariots of Fire, and The Longest Yard. Here’s the martial arts movies that might’ve made it if Rachael wasn’t a bastard – The Karate Kid, The Last Dragon, Enter the Dragon, Best of the Best, and BLOODF-INGSPORT!
Me: First of all, you’re hilarious.. Second, sadly of the ten movies you named, I’ve only seen 2.. Here are my honorable mentions: Seabiscuit, The Champ and BLOODF-INGSPORT!
Brandon: Haha.. I am pretty funny.. And you do seriously need to watch more good sports movies.. Seabiscuit and The Champ are both good choices, i didnt even think of them.. Plus, one great, great unintentionally hilarious quote came from each of them.. Oh, and also, Million Dollar Baby should’ve been included in that list.. Ok, halftime is over!
Me: Umm.. I never saw Million Dollar Baby.. 😦 STOP JUDGING ME!
Brandon: 5. The Wrestler– ‘I’m just an old, broken down piece of meat, and i deserve to be all alone. I just dont want you to hate me.’
Me: Nice one! 5. Two for the Money – It was a good movie, despite Matthew.. Plus I felt it needed to make the list so you won’t kill me for the fact that I haven’t seen Any Given Sunday or Jerry Maguire.. 🙂
Brandon: What the f?!?
You shouldn’t have chosen this list.. Unless you were just planning on me tearing up the friendship papers.. Ok, im almost home, Let’s go!
Me: Hey, I just listed an Al movie.. I didn’t know how sport movie depraved I was until I started to figure out my list, so at least now I know.. You go! It’s your turn!
Brandon: 4. Cinderella Man– A movie you refused to see, because i thought you just didnt think it looked good. Now i know it’s just because you dont think any sports movies with actual plots or acting or directing look good. Awesome.
Me: I never said I don’t like sports movies, I just don’t seem to see them for some reason..
4. Spellbound – Yes, it’s a weak sports movie choice, but technically it is considered a sport.. And, as you know, it’s awesome.
Brandon: Yes, very weak but very awesome
3. Any Given Sunday– Al. Football. POD. Barry Switzer. Boner.
Me: 3. Happy Gilmore – Yes, one of the movies you felt you had to defend as your number ten is my number three.. The Waterboy would’ve made my list as well, but I didn’t want to do the two Adam Sandler thing either..
Brandon: 2. Rocky– Da da dun da da dun da da dun dun dun, da da dun da da dun da da dun dun dun!
Me: Okay, I’ve seen Rocky, but it’s been like 15 years so I didn’t feel right putting it on the list since I don’t really remember it.. 2. The Wrestler – The only respectable movie that made both our lists..
Brandon: Movies that are centered around sports but not exactly sports movies that might’ve made it- Two for the Money, Ace Ventura, Teen Wolf, Jerry Maguire. (on second thought though, JM and TFTM should count)
Me: Yes, they should.. I almost put Teen Wolf on my list..
Brandon: I’m glad you thought of Teen Wolf also! Also, i just thought of the original Bad News Bears. That shoulda been a classic honorable mention.
1b. Little Giants– Emmitt’s only movie role, it’s hilarious, it has Al Bundy, it has kids wearing Cowboys helmets on the cover. Has to be an honorable #1.
Ok, now for my real #1! Drumroll please…… (ps, i just pulled up at home, great timing.. psps, i know your #1 is The Sandlot.. pspsps, im a jack-a, spoiler alert)
1a. Field of Dreams– If you build the greatest sports movie of all time, they will watch it. Unless it’s Rachael.
Me: Haha! It’s true.. 1. The Sandlot – Shut up! I will love this movie for-ev-er!