My Cinematic Journey Through 2010: Fifties

59. Knight & Day (Mangold) – Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz
Ratings: 5/10;  RT: 53%; IMDB: 6.4; Flixter: 53%

  • Just as you’d expect, it’s your predictable summer action flick. If you like action films, it’s worth the rental. If not, skip it. You’re not missing anything you haven’t seen 1,000 times already.

58. Alice in Wonderland (Burton) – Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter
Ratings: 5/10; RT: 52%; IMDB: 6.6; Flixter: 72%

  • I’ve defended Johnny for a long time about his roles with Tim Burton, but I threw in the towel on this one – He has been playing virtually the same character for years, and frankly, I’m bored with it. Bored to the point that I actually dozed off in this movie – more than once. I know Johnny has it in him to do better than this, but will he ever move away from Burton? With him already signed to Dark Shadows, it looks unlikely. Such a shame.
    As far as Alice in Wonderland is concerned, the entire movie was dull. I hated Alice. I don’t think I was supposed to but she really got on my nerves. Really, the only redeeming qualities were the cinematography (Even though it’s the same thing over and over, I still like Burton’s style.) and Helena Bonham Carter. My suggestion – watch the original instead.

57. The Human Centipede (Six) – Dieter Laser, Ashley C. Williams, Ashlynn Yennie
Ratings: 5/10; RT: 49%; IMDB: 5; Flixter: 30%

  • Even with all the underground buzz about this movie, most of my friends have steered clear because it’s “too disgusting.” Well, yeah.. I get that. I however had to see for myself, so I sat down and watched it with my roommate and cousin one night. First off, it’s not as disgusting as you would think.. Okay, the concept is just as gross as it seems, but it’s less graphic than it could’ve been. The victims butts and faces are mostly covered in gauze, so you see no skin-on-skin contact. Unless you have an incredibly weak stomach, I think you’ll be able to handle it.
    I highly recommend that you do not watch this movie alone. It’s not a good movie.. it’s awful, actually. Bad acting, bad script and the characters are so annoying that after about 15 minutes you want them to have their mouths sewn to someone’s butt so you don’t have to listen to them anymore. You have to take it for what it is.  It’s ridiculous and gross.. and oddly amusing. Oh, and I also recommend that you imagine that the doctor is played by Tommy Wiseau – HILARIOUS. That was a serious miscasting.

56. The Lovely Bones (Jackson) – Rachel Weisz, Mark Wahlberg, Saoirse Ronan, Stanley Tucci
Ratings: 6/10; RT: 33%; IMDB: 6.6; Flixter: 57%

  • After seeing the trailer, I was pretty jazzed about this movie.. Unfortunately, it failed in many aspects. The imagery was absolutely beautiful and the cast remarkably talented, but the inability to weave the story lines together into something cohesive ultimately makes The Lovely Bones fail. Stanley Tucci’s performance, on the other hand, was disturbingly delightful.

55. The American (Corbijn) – George Clooney, Paolo Bonacelli, Violante Placido
Ratings: 6/10; RT: 65%; IMDB: 6.6; Flixter: 37%

  • There was a fairly big debate about this movie between my friends, Brandon and MJ. Brandon insisted that The American was one of the most boring movies ever made. MJ defended it saying it was a character piece and actually enjoyed it enough to buy it. I saw it after hearing this debate and here’s what I came up with:
    Despite what the marketing may have lead you to believe, The American is NOT an action movie! Bad idea, movie marketing people! Wanna know why your IMDB and Flixter ratings are low? Because people went into this expecting it to be action packed and when they found out that it’s mostly a love story about a dude who builds guns, they were disappointed. I think this is why Brandon was so pissed off about it. However, in his hatred for the movie, he may have painted it as being more boring than it actually was, which worked in it’s favor as far as my opinion of it is concerned.
    As far as the film itself – it was okay. I never felt connected to the characters and it was insultingly predictable, but it was well made. The one thing we all agreed on – the sex scene was good.

54. Due Date (Phillips) – Robert Downey Jr., Zach Galifianakis and Michelle Monaghan
Ratings: 5/10; RT: 39%; IMDB: 6.8; Flixter: 60%

  • I’m about to say something that will ruin me with some of you, but I don’t get what’s so great about Zach Galifianakis. I rarely find him funny whatsoever. There. I said it.
    On the other hand, Due Date has Robert Downey Jr. and how can anything with RDJ in it be bad? You take away his humor and accentuate his jacka** side, that’s how. RDJ has a fantastic mix of charming/funny/rebel/jacka**. These things all balance each other out making him lovable. When you subtract any of these qualities, you mess up the balance. Robert’s character was so brutal that he was hard to watch at times. Tragic. I love him.

53. Dinner for Schmucks (Roach) – Steve Carell, Paul Rudd, Jemaine Clement
Ratings: 6/10; RT: 43%; IMDB: 6.0; Flixter: 49%

  • Paul, Steve and Jemaine?! *swoon*
    I wouldn’t say that Dinner for Schmucks is a bad movie per say.. It just tries too hard. The characters are painfully over the top at times which draws more attention that the plot it’s based around is downright deplorable. (Of course, there’s a lesson in it all.) Overall I found it amusing. Jemaine was by far the best part of the movie (and not just because I like looking at him).. It’s worth a rental.

52. The Crazies (Eisner) – Radha Mitchell, Timothy Olyphant, Danielle Panabaker
Ratings: 6/10; RT: 71%; IMDB: 6.7; Flixter: 55%

  • The Crazies got crazy good reviews for a horror movie, which is maybe why I was a little disappointed in it. Yes, it all they say it is – well shot, intense and intelligent. For me the bottom line is that is a zombie movie and even though it higher quality than most, there is nothing that ultimately separates in my mind from other movies in it’s genre. It was entertaining, but forgettable.

51. A Nightmare on Elm Street (Bayer)  – Jackie Earle Haley, Rooney Mara, Kyle Gallner
Ratings: 6/10; RT: 13%; IMDB: 5.1; Flixter: 41%

  • Okay, okay.. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t a complete disaster. Sure, in the remake there is no Elm Street and the filmmakers would have you believe that Freddy is just misunderstood, but there were some nice throwbacks from the original. I really don’t know why they remade it when the original was perfect the way it was, but it is what it is. It wasn’t really a good movie, but it kept me entertained.. Take that for what you will.

50. Dogtooth (Lanthimos) – Christos Stergioglou, Michele Valley, Aggeliki Papoulia
Ratings: 6/10; RT: 93%; IMDB: 7.3; Flixter: 74%

  • To quote my friend James, “It is really an elaborate way of making a simple point. Not much depth to it.”
    Yep. That pretty much sums it up.
    I rarely have the chance to see the Oscar nominated foreign films before the awards, but Dogtooth happened to be on Netflix. I was expecting some sort of Oscar worthy excellence, but all I got was beat over the head with disturbing scenarios that all said the same thing. I’m not sure why this was so critically praised. Many mentioned the comedic flair it had – I must’ve missed it. I wouldn’t recommend Dogtooth to the average moviegoer.. If you’re a movie elitist who gravitates toward foreign films and can handle some disturbing ideas, go for it. It’s kind of like a car wreck.. You want to look away, but for whatever reason, you can’t.

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